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I couldn't come up with a clever title so this post will not have one.  I figured I should give some info about myself. 

Well, I'm 27 and as I stand today, my BMI is 33.7.  I'm 5'3" and this morning I weighed 184lbs.  My highest was about 192lbs around the time I got married three years ago.  Perfect time of my life to be the FATTEST I HAD EVER BEEN.  Shit happens.  So, as one may have surmised, I have made several attempts to "lose weight and get in shape."  What usually would happen is I would get a wild hair up my ass and decide I need to start C25K and cut down to 1200 calories a day the very next day.  We all know this story...it didn't last long.  My longest attempt was 2011 when I joined Weight Watchers.  I was a point-countin' fool.  I managed to save my points at the end of the day for snacks all the time.  I bought the 8oz. cans of Coke because I thought they were better for me (I can hardly type that without feeling like a complete ass hat).  I lost about eleven pounds then just slowly drifted away.  One week off plan turned into infinity weeks off plan.  I realized later that I was only allowed to eat about 1150 calories a day and that was based off of my estimation to lose 1lb per week.  What an epic fucking fail.

On another note, the Mister and I have a 32 year age gap.  He is 59 years old and can out-swim and out-run me like there's no tomorrow.  He also used to bodybuild and still has quite the physique for a man his age.  He looks about 10-12 years younger than what he actually is.  This is the key point here...he started eating natural foods, or "clean," when he was about 17.  So, when we met, he converted me.  Being a scientist, I always tried not to eat food that seemed too artificial but at the same time, I didn't have much will power.  We do not eat anything with artificial flavors or colors, preservatives, hydrogenated oils (DEATH), HFCS nor any other of the 14,000+ FDA-approved food additives.  We are nutrition label Nazis. 

So, you're probably wondering why the fuck I am so fat.  Yea, good question.  In my quest to transition to natural foods, I began to bake and cook my junk food.  So, yes, my junk food was all natural and homemade but that didn't take away the fact that it was stuffed with calories.  My chocolate chip cookies are amazing and my co-workers are constantly asking me to make my homemade chocolate peanut butter cups.  I actually contemplated opening up my own bakery at one point because I was always making some type of decadent dessert.  Understand now?  This is why I'm fat.

I gave up coffee and caffeinated tea in 2009 but I continued to drink Coke.  I could not ever imagine giving up my precious Coke.  It should just be called liquid heroin because I was addicted.  I never drank more than a can or one 20oz bottle per day but those calories still add up.  I had my last Coke on January 1, 2013.  Do I still crave it?  Yes, but I've realized the only time I get strong cravings is when I am ravenously hungry.  The scientist in me says, "duh, it's fucking obvious you tool, you're hypoglycemic and of course your body wants the quick sugar high." 

We are in the process of lessening the amount of meat we consume.  The only animal proteins we eat are chicken or fish.  I'm way too picky about the type of fish so my main source is chicken.  I've been subbing with tofu but I'm trying to get away from eating so much of that too.  So, we eat a lot of beans and quinoa right now.  We didn't decide this for ethical reasons but rather for health reasons.  I know there are a lot of people that would think I'm nuts or I'm "wrong" but it's my fucking choice and I can't stand it when I tell people.  They always say, "how can you not eat red meat?"  Um, I just don't put it in my mouth?  WTF?  I don't make smartass remarks at people who eat paleo style or any other style.  I could give a shit what somebody else's diet choices are as long as they're not eating McDonald's or any kind of shit like that.  If you do that, I will make fun of you because you're stupid and it's not real food.  It's 75% artificial and that may be a stretch. 

This is really long and I doubt anybody will make it this far.  My goal for the end of 2013 is to be able to do one unassisted pull-up.  That's it.  I didn't set a goal to lose X amount of weight or fit into a size X.  I want to be strong and healthy.  Will I have to lose weight to do a pull-up?  Yes, of course I will but I didn't want that to be my focus because then I get too caught up in the numbers and I make myself crazy.  So, I lift weights 3 times per week and swim or take a long walk 2-3 times per week.  I try to make swimming a priority though because swimming is a killer workout.  Thanks to my elevated testosterone levels, I have always been able to build up muscle very quickly and my body type could be described as "dense" or "thick."  After only about 3 weeks of lifting weights, I noticed my shoulders getting more broad and my quads popping out, even under the fat.  So, the amount of weight I'm able to lift for certain exercises is more than the average woman (at least to my knowledge).  I'm sure there are females out there that are using my maximum as a warm-up.  I do not compare myself to others because that is another surefire way to fail. 

Anyway, I should wrap this up because it's really fucking long and I need to go to bed soon.  My 5:30 alarm will come quicker than I think (like always).