Ew! And Allan's Challenge

More on this later...

ETA:  In response to the above article...well, I don't have much of one.  The way our country produces food is so flawed that I can't even begin to write on that topic because it will turn into a political rant.  I'd be curious to know what the food borne illness stats are for the EU because I know their food safety regulations are a lot tighter than the US regarding GMOs and additives.  In Europe, food that contains GMO has to be labeled appropriately and some of the additives used in food in the U.S. that are considered GRAS (Generally Recognized As Safe) by the FDA are banned in Europe.  What a shame.  No wonder people are always so sick; they are eating chemicals that our body does not know how to process.  I have a book that lists all of the approved food additives and there are over 14,000 used in the U.S.

Anyway, change of topic!  I joined Allan's challenge at the last minute tonight.  So, as most of you know, I will be posting pics of everything that goes into my mouth (THATSWHATSHESAID) before I eat it.  This also coincides with my version of Whole30.  I am cutting out added sugar (fruit is OK), limiting my fruit servings to 2 per day and reducing carbs.  I don't have a specific carb amount and I'm not sure I'll set one.  

My "last meal" tonight was a Chipotle bowl and a Sparkling Clementine Izze Soda (fuck yeah).  I usually scarf these down like it really is my last meal but I only finished about 2/3 to 3/4 of it.  Now I feel like I'm going to explode.  I used to love this feeling and now I just feel like I'm going to be sick.  Ugh.  Lesson learned.  

We took a long ass walk today on some mountain bike trails at a local park.  My pedometer read approximately 2800 steps before we started and when we got home, it read about 14,800.  It felt good but I felt disgusting and sticky afterwards.  We checked each other for ticks when we got home because I do not want a repeat of last week.  I still have that little bastard in my freezer.  I kept it in case I got sick but I think I'm in the clear now.

Tomorrow will be my last weigh-in for a month and I'd also like to take some body measurements.  Probably belly button, biceps (relaxed and flexed), thighs, bust and shoulders (can these be measured?).  

Hey, What Happened?

Stupid Blogger app for android just deleted the post I wrote last night.  Ugh.  Pain in the ass.  I had pictures of the delicious vegan brownies and vegetarian enchiladas I made this weekend. All from scratch, too.  You'll have to use your imagination to visualize how tasty they looked. 

Anyway, today I started a new workout routine.  I'm doing a 3-day split.  Legs, push, pull.  Simple, quick and efficient.  I destroyed my quads and glutes doing lunges.  My legs and ass feel like jelly but that's a good thing.  I need the reminder that I'm still not even close to my goals.  So, here is what went down at the gym this morning...

Squat 95x8, 115x7, 135x6
Lunges 3x10 - I barely squeezed out the last set.  My legs were toast.
Stiff leg dead lift 45x8, 65x8, 75x8 - these all felt easy but I didn't want to go heavy on the first day of doing a new exercise. I know what I can handle now so this will take a big jump next week.
Calf raises 2x15

As you can see, a very easy routine.  I got to the gym pretty late this morning and didn't have time to do much else but in the future I will be adding in at least 15 minutes of cardio or HIIT after the weights.  So I'll need to get my ass out of bed at a decent time in the morning. 

Breakfast was a green smoothie with:
1/2 c water (goodbye soy milk, sniff sniff)
1/2 c homemade Greek yogurt
3 large frozen strawberries
1 scoop raw vegan protein powder
Couple hand fulls of baby spinach

Lunch will be leftover enchiladas and dinner will either be a salad or eggs with some of the pinto beans I made over the weekend. 

I did some research on the Whole30 plan and they actually have a modified plan for vegetarians.  It allows dairy and some protein alternatives.  I'm not sure how specific I want to be with the program.  Right now, my goals are to eliminate sources of added sugar and reduce carbs.  This includes soy milk and my occasional Starbucks drink and honey.  I will also limit fruit to two servings per day.  I have to figure out what a serving of fruit is because right now, I have no limit.  I think this will force me to eat more veggies and that is a good thing!  My sweet tooth has always gotten me in trouble and I need to rein myself in.  I am also going to lower my carb intake.  I think this will help with the sugar cravings.  I tend to default to pasta a lot because it is fucking delicious and so versatile.  I never eat more than one serving (at least not now) which is about a cup so that's good, but it needs to go for a while. 

Today I will be scavenging the web for low carb vegetarian or vegan recipes.  I found the most amazing Brussels sprouts recipe that I will have to try at some point; garlic and herb stuffed Brussels sprouts! 

I went and looked at bikes this weekend and I'm going to have to convince myself that spending $650 on a nice bike that will last the rest of my life is worth it. 

Until next time...

Happy Fucking Monday!

"Because I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough And..."

"...Dog-gonnit, people like me."

This year's Lab Week celebration has actually been very nice.  We were treated to a pizza lunch today (of course) and they gave every lab person a nice stainless steel water bottle.  I ate one small slice of veggie pizza and a giant salad.  Someone made cookies that had the ABO/Rh groups on them.  They were a cute idea and I had an AB negative one, the most rare type!  I worked late so I had brought a giant salad with me because I knew I wouldn't be home.  Tomorrow they are having a happy hour at a local bar so I will probably make an appearance before I head home.

My weight this morning was 178.  Although I may not technically be following Whole30 to a "T," I don't plan on weighing at all during the month of May.  My Whole30 goals will be a little different.  I'm cutting out added sugar so this will include my precious vanilla soy milk.  I only drink 1/2 c. per day currently in my breakfast smoothie but I think it will be a good idea to cut back.  I can replace it with water and if they start tasting bad, I can throw in some plain powdered milk.  I'm debating on whether or not I should give up dairy.  I'll get back to you on that one.  It's hard to beat 14g protein in 1/2 c of cottage cheese.  I am also going to limit my fruit to 2 servings per day.  Strawberries in my morning smoothie and an apple or orange with lunch or after dinner.  We'll see how this goes.  I think it will be good for me.  Well, obviously, it can't be bad.

I will make sure to post my meals every day but there will be a lot of repeats, I'm sure.  

Tomorrow is Friday!  Fuck yeah!

WHATISHAPPENING?

I just found a tick...in my ear.  My fucking ear!

Luckily it was not the canal but the top part but still.  Now I am itching all over and I can't focus on my work. 

I trapped it in a test tube which is inside a ziploc just in case I get Rocky Mountain spotted fever. 

I guess that's what I get for wanting to walk in the woods yesterday.

Little bastard.

Tony, Tony Turn Around...

...Something's lost and can't be found!  If you are Catholic, you may recognize that one.  The thing that's lost is my motivation.  I think it was drained out of my body with the ickies I had his weekend.  Going to the gym this morning required a shit ton of effort on my part.  Just getting out of bed his morning felt like torture. Predictably, my work out was fucking terrible.  I manage to barely make it though DLs then crapped out on everything else.  I'm just not feeling it this week.  I think this may be hormonal because this sort of thing seems to happen every month.  Shark week is approaching...joy.  Ugh.  

Norma and her minions have posted about doing a Whole30 challenge in May.  I like the idea of this and I'd like to participate but I can't figure out a way to so it without eating meat, or eating very little at least.  Actually, now that I haven't been eating a lot of meat, it just does not sound very appetizing.  Sigh.  I need to do some more research.  I can't rely on nuts and eggs as my sole source of protein for a month.  I'm thinking of doing a modified version and just cutting out sugar, stevia and tofu.  It is going to require some planning but I think I can pull it off.  I think I also may need to reduce my fruit intake.  I'm probably eating more than I  should.  I'll be doing some reading today at work and come up with some goals. 

On a completely unrelated note, I would give my left nut (if I had nuts) for a giant bowl of half regular Cheerios and half Honey Nut Cheerios with ice cold milk. 

Yea, this is definitely hormones...

Oops...

So I've had an interesting past few days.  I think I picked up a bug at work and I had this vague weak and fatigued feeling all weekend.  It wasn't that bad, I still managed to make it to the gym.  But this morning it caught up with me.  Usually before I work out in the morning I eat a half a banana and a tablespoon of PB.  Well I still felt icky and kind of nauseous so I didn't eat it.  Terrible idea and I should have known better because I was thisclose to passing out.  So I went in the locker room to get my rescue pack of energy goo.  I choked it down with some water and the shakes went away but then I was exhausted.  I didn't finish my workout and called out sick from work.  I went home, managed to eat some oatmeal and I went back to bed.  I woke up 4 hours later feeling like I had risen from the dead. 

Ugh. What the fuck.  All this has happened before so I now have an appointment with a my GP doc tomorrow but I'm sure she will just refer me to an endocrinologist but I already have an appointment with one in May that I made back in February.  I had a glucose tolerance test a few years ago and it was normal so I don't know what to make of it. 

Anyway...Saturday I went out with some friends and I nursed two beers then switched to soda water with lime so it looked like I was drinking.  I didn't feel like a guilt trip from my friends about not drinking.  I used to be quite the party girl and was always more than willing to get shit faced.  I'm too fucking old for hangovers.  They fucking hurt and it takes me out for a good two days. 

The pic I attached is from a cookie that was brought into work by one of our research students.  She is from Saudi and brought some back with her.  I assume the "animal obesity" was lost in translation and it is actually lard or something similar.  And for the record, I did not have any.

Whooped

I just got home from an unexpected 14-hour day. 

Whew.

I'm going to bed and sleeping until Monday morning, or at least that's how I feel right now.

Lucky Duct

You know you're having a bad day when the highlight is an intact duct in the organ you are trying to perfuse.  This rarely happens in the particular procedure we did today but when it does it makes it a hell of a lot easier and allows us to avoid using an angiocath.

Anything that could have went wrong today went wrong.  I will be so happy to go to bed and put it all behind me.  Tomorrow is another early start.  I have to be at work, awake and alert at 6:30 am.  In order to make this, I will arrive at the gym at 5:00am when they open, bust through my workout so I can leave by 6.  Today turned out to be my rest day, by accident.  I slept through my alarm.  This hasn't happened since I was in college.  I had planned on swimming this morning but I guess my body needed the rest more.  Lift will happen tomorrow morning, swim on Saturday and a run/walk session with the Mister on Sunday.  

I will be stuck in the lab most of the day tomorrow, again.  I usually don't mind doing lab work all day but when I've got a billion other responsibilities, it kinda blows.  But, I was promoted to lead tech for a reason so I have to suck it up.  I'm thankful I am paid by the hour though because the overtime is awesome.  

Time for bed.  The 4:15 alarm will ring early.  I will be setting two alarms to make sure my ass gets out of bed.  

Murphy's Law

Well today is a complete and utter clusterfuck...

The lab I work in has a reputation of being a giant clusterfuck and today it is ringing true.  The shit hits the fan every fucking day like clockwork.  Something goes wrong every single day.  I'm not exaggerating.  The fuck up of the day today is a supply we desperately need tomorrow went on backorder 4 weeks ago and nobody in the ordering department bothered to tell us because they fucking hate my boss because he treats everybody like shit. 

Fuck.  So now we have to change our procedure and hope to God it will arrive before 10 tomorrow so we can still actually use it. 

Sonofabitch

You're So Vain

You probably think this blog is about you...

This was the last song I heard at the gym this morning.  I thought it was fitting considering the new woman I saw at the gym this morning.  She was definitely 'roided out.  Her back and lats were massive and her biceps were at least 12-14 inches.  Her face was broken out as was her back (she was wearing a tank top).  I'm all about personal freedom, if you want to do steroids then do them, if you want to shoot heroin then go right ahead, if you want to eat McDonald's then be my guest.  But don't start bitching when the shit hits the fan and you're stricken with some dread disease.  Anyway, I don't want to elaborate on my post from last night but I just wanted to mention this woman.  This is the first time I have seen her and since I've been going in the morning it is usually all the same guys that are there.  So when I see a woman I'm always intrigued because I am a lone female in a pack of males in the free weights section.  She was beast for sure and if she really is doing steroids or was at some point, that is no surprise.  I just don't understand why anybody would want to purposely take drugs to make themselves bigger.  I'm sure she had some sort of mental complex or self esteem issue that made her want to take steroids.  A woman, or man for that matter, who is psychologically healthy would most likely not have this kind of drive.  Steroids do awful things to your body. 

I would love to have a rock hard body and be "cut" and "ripped" but I'm OK with the fact that I probably never will.  I just want to be healthy and feel good and get rid of most of my extra flub. 

I like knowing that by 7:00 am I have accomplished more than most people have because they are still laying in bed.  I used to be that person and I'm not that far away from it. 

Everyday I have a lingering fear of returning to my old self.  But it isn't my body that would stop, it is my mind.  Because I have started on this odyssey many times only to fail after a few weeks, this is my biggest fear right now.  Now, when I start to get those feelings of "I'll just stay in bed today" or "I can eat out for lunch" I immediately quell them.  I don't let my brain say "oh, its just ONE day, geez, live a little."  This is what had caused me to fail in the past. 

I assume I will always have this mental battle even after I meet my goals.  My body will always be fighting against me to get fat again. 

For now I will take it one day at a time.  Each day I exercise and make healthy food choices is an accomplishment although it may seem trivial.  Knowing that I am doing better than most people are is good for me.  I have the power to say NO to bad choices.  There is a lot of power in saying no.

Say NO today!

And From the "No Shit" Report...

FUCKING DUH

Why is this news?  Seriously?  We haven't figured this out yet?  Ughhhhh...

The Mister and I were just talking about this.  Mr. Sexy Pants Brian Williams reported the death of some NFL guy, Pat Summerall.  He passed away at the ripe old age of 82.  Not bad actually considering his past.  He was an alcoholic, got sober and ended up needing a liver transplant.  Now, I am not 100% sure he needed a liver transplant because of his alcoholism but it is the most likely reason.  I made a comment about how it seems unfair that someone that has abused their one body they were given and now they get the gift of life?  I know it's harsh and if he was my father/grandfather, I would probably feel differently (maybe).  Am I in the minority here?  

Here's another good example of this...one of my best friends' mother has dealt with health problems her entire life.  She survived cervical cancer in her 20s, lymphoma in her 30s and kidney failure in her 40s.  Just to give some background, she has been a life long smoker, does not watch what she eats and drinks pop like it's water.  So, she has type II diabetes and as a result and it ruined her kidneys in just a few years because she did not manage her blood glucose levels.  One of her other daughter's friend's mother VOLUNTEERED to give her a kidney even though she didn't really know her.  The transplant went off without a hitch and she was given a second chance.  Now, she stopped smoking for about a month and was watching her diet for about 2 weeks.  She ended up having a stroke about a year ago and continues to smoke and eat shit.  I seriously don't understand this.  You're given a second chance of living a relatively long life and you fucking piss it away because you can't stop smoking and stop eating shit?  What the fuck are you thinking?  I'd love to be able to actually say this but of course that would make me a terrible person.  

I can't help but think about all the thousands of people on the transplant list that have hereditary diseases rather than "lifestyle" diseases that are in desperate need of organs.  Maybe I'm being a bitch (don't care) but I can't help but be pissed off when I hear stories like this.  I am busting my ass in the gym 6 days a week and planning my meals down to every fucking bite and cutting out junk food and pop and there are people that sit on their fat fucking asses, destroy their bodies and expect someone else to feel sorry for them?  NOPE!

I'm done ranting (for now).  My day went well.  Food was spot-on and I swam 1/2 mile and pushed myself a little harder than I did last time.  Thursday and Friday are going to be difficult to negotiate a workout.  Thursday I may not be able to swim after work because I may be there until about 6 or 7 so I plan on going around 5-5:30 and running on the treadmill (I promised a friend I'd do a 5K color run in June!) even though I'd rather grate my eyeballs on a cheese grater than run.  I'll get over it.  Friday, I have to be at work by 0600.  This presents another problem.  The gym opens at 5:00 and it takes about 15-20 minutes to get to work from the gym.  So, I may not be able to fit in a shower (gross, I know) but it's better than skipping a workout.  The old me would have been all "I'll just workout Saturday."  Then Saturday would come and I would end up on the couch all day.  

Tomorrow is a lift day.  My favorite!  I'm currently thinking about switching up my routine to more of a 3 or 4 day split but I'm not sure I want to do that just yet.  I like that my lifts take only about 40 minutes.  An intense 40 minutes, I should add.  We'll see how it goes.

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

Heavy Heart

I can't even try to understand why some people do the things they do.  I'm sure when the authorities find the person responsible for the bombs yesterday we are all going to be shocked because this person may be a "normal" person that nobody would have suspected.  It is getting to the point that nobody feels safe unless get are inside a bunker.  At least that's how I feel sometimes.  I hope the people that were personally affected by yesterday's events can find peace and go on with their lives.  It is so unfair to think that they will likely have long term health effects as a result of their injuries.  Also for the three victims that did not survive, I hope their families can find the strength to deal with their losses. 

And if you think your life sucks, check out this guy. 

So, my day has been relatively uneventful.  That's the way I like them.  Workout today will be a swim after work with the Mister.  I'm on my lunch break right now and as soon as I'm done with this I'll be heading out for a quick walk around the block.

I tried my new protein powder and it is head and shoulders over my old stuff and unfortunately so is the price.  It was about $38 for 2.2lbs.  It kept me full until lunch.  My usual green breakfast smoothie with the old whey powder lasted me until about 9:30 (I usually drink it around 7:30-8) but today I wasn't hungry until about an hour ago.  I think there is a fair amount of fiber in this new one so I'm sure that is the main reason.

Well, I'm anxious to get outside on a gorgeous day so I shall post more later.

Sitting in a Bean Bag Chair, Naked Eating Cheetos

No, that is not how I spent my Sunday.  I just want to clarify that up front. 

I went to Dick's last night in search of straps to help my poor hands during dead lifts and they didn't have anything.  I'm not surprised, they are terrible.  So, my palms will continue to look like they have been gnawed on by some wild animal until my grip strength improves and the calluses form.  My workout was the usual, same as Friday but I did DLs instead of squats.  I didn't make it to bed last night until after midnight so I didn't increase any weight today.  I will shoot for that on Wednesday. 

Breakfast was a green smoothie.  Strawberries, soy milk, my homemade Greek yogurt, protein powder and spinach.  I'm snacking on carrots and PB right now.  Work is pretty slow today, thankfully but it is the calm before the storm.  Thursday and Friday are going to be awful.  I can't fucking wait.

So here is where the title of this post comes into play...there is a woman at the gym that I have seen several times and in the locker room she is ALWAYS naked.  As soon as she comes in she strips down, checks her phone for ten minutes, takes a shower then gets dressed.  I have no problems with people being naked on the locker room.  More power to them I say because I am way too self conscious for that.  I realized today that I see her naked body more than I see my husband's.  Not because we don't have a lot of sex but because the entire time I spend getting cleaned up and ready for work, it seems like she is naked.  This doesn't gross me out.  What gets me is that she doesn't wear some type of flip flops or crocs or anything in the shower.  To me this is so gross.  I am so paranoid about my bare feet touching the gym floor that I go to great lengths to prevent it.  My husband brought home athlete's foot once and it was such a pain in the ass to get rid of.  I think that's why I'm so OCD about it. 

But, whatever.  It is what it is.  She can go on being naked and barefoot and I can go on continuing to get flashed every morning. 

There's Nothing Worse Than...

...Being sick on a glorious day.  I woke up this morning feeling like I got hit in the head with a 2x4, eyes watering, snotty nose, the works.  Fucking allergies.  Took a Zyrtec and I feel a little better but still have that cloudy/hazy feeling.  We are going to take a short walk and run some errands.   I need to buy some lifting straps because my grip always fails me on deadlift and I'd like to increase the weight.  The Mister has some man things to do at Home Depot and Tractor Supply.  We also need to hit up the grocery store.  Our fridge is bare and that is not good.  Tonight for dinner will be my version of Chipotle burrito bowls.  I'll post a pic later if I remember.

Last night out to dinner was a success.  I found a new restaurant that actually serves healthy food.  I had a giant salad with grilled chicken, quinoa, black & kidney beans, veggies, goat cheese, assorted nuts and a curry vinaigrette.  I went easy on the dressing and it was just perfect.  I did have one beer and two girl scout cookies (FAIL) but I did't go crazy, which was my main goal.  I have a tendency to eat shit when I'm at my parent's house because they usually have some around.  

I had oatmeal for breakfast again, the same as yesterday.  I added a little more water so it wasn't as gummy.  

I ordered some new protein powder and I'm excited to try it.  It's Sun Warrior brand plant-based protein.  I found out that most whey protein powders are processed with solvents.  In my first job out of college, one of my responsibilities was to wash lab glassware with chloroform before autoclaving because we were doing experiments with fatty acids and that was the only thing that would get rid of all the residues.  The chloroform would quickly eat through my gloves and I probably absorbed a more than safe amount through my skin as a result I have no desire to have solvent residue in my protein powder.  

Grocery list includes rice cakes, bananas, avocado, eggs, apples, spinach and some other veggies (whatever looks good) and cheese.  The Mister will be making a Costco trip this week so we'll get most of our stuff then.  

Hopefully I feel better before the gym tomorrow morning or my lift is going to suck ass.  

Weight was 180.0 exactly this morning.  Making progress, slowly but surely.  

Gummy Oatmeal = Goats?

I let myself sleep in this morning even though I was wide-eyed at about 6:00 am this morning.  I did some deep breathing and fell back asleep until about 8:30.  I slept about 10 1/2 hours and it felt fucking amazing.  

My usual weekend breakfast is either a couple scrambled eggs with fruit or veggie or an egg sandwich with a half slice of cheese on whole wheat.  Unfortunately, our 2 dozen eggs from Costco are gone so I decided to have oats for breakfast.  I started getting away from oats when I realized I needed a higher protein breakfast to avoid the 3:00 ravenous sugar cravings that hit me every single day.  So this morning I made a few changes:

1/2 c. Quaker Old fashioned Oats
1/2 c. vanilla soymilk
1/2 c. water
1 tbsp ground flax
2 tbsp hemp seed
1/3 banana (the Mister has a habit of eating portions of things and then leaving them sit out; this makes me crazy)
Generous sprinkling of cinnamon
1 hot cup of glorious peppermint tea (the greatest tea flavor ever)

As I suspected, the flax turned it into the consistency of wet cement but I ate it anyway because it tasted good.  It was a higher calorie amount (approximately 475) than I like to eat for breakfast but it should sustain me for a while as my morning will be pretty quiet.  

Tonight we'll be having dinner with my parents and even though it is Saturday and even though I will be swimming 1/2 mile this afternoon that does not give me an excuse to eat whatever the fuck I want.  (Thanks, Norma).  Been there, done that and failed.  

Be happy and be awesome today.  

Facebook Friend Trainwreck

It's only 8:30 and I'm tired.  Fuck, I'm old.  The sun is still up and I'm ready to go to bed.  Ugh.  

So, while I was watching the NBC news with Brian Williams tonight because he is kinda sexy so I can stay informed of current events, I was browsing my Facebook.  I have a "friend" on there whom I know from high school.  She was overweight in high school and is now even more overweight.  Well, technically obese I guess.  I'd say she is easily 250 and not much taller than me, maybe 5'5".  Her wife is also the same build.  I'm not exactly sure what she actually does on a daily basis.  She takes care of her niece and nephew all the time and I know she works occasionally, probably part-time.  About a month ago, she started posting about how she wanted to get in shape, be healthy, etc.  Well, I gave her some advice about cutting out pop because it was very hard for me and I could relate to her struggles.  A week or so goes by and she posts about how now she allows herself one diet pop a week.  Ok, fine, whatever.  I don't care that much.  Well today she posted about eating donuts for breakfast with her little niece.  So not only has she fell off the wagon already she is teaching this young innocent child awful habits.  

I'm debating on whether or not I should send her a private message and giving her some encouragement and letting her know I can help her with a meal plan, exercise, motivation, whatever.  I too have struggled and I think I could help but I don't want to waste my time and I don't want her to feel weird about it.  I didn't really know her that well but we were friendly and I was always nice to her even when people made fun of her for being overweight.  I think she deals with a lot of stress because she is a lesbian and it seems like her family may not be that supportive of her lifestyle.  I could care less.  I just know she can't be happy. 

Anyway, I'll think on it while I go to bed early tonight.  I'm sure I'll be awake by 5:00.  I'm thinking about doing some yoga in the morning while I wait for the Mister to get his ass out of bed.

Until tomorrow...

Two's a Crowd?

Yesterday in my gym rant post, I forgot to mention what I actually did.  I swam 34 lengths of a 25 yard pool which comes out to about 1/2 mile total.  It took me 45 minutes which is really fucking slow but I did it and I know I'll get faster eventually. 

Starting at 0600 this morning I was on the treadmill for a quick warm-up before my lift:

Squat 95x8, 115x8, 135x8
Smith machine "pull-ups" 3x8
Military Press 45x8, 45x8, 45x8 - next week I will be increasing this to 50 at least for the last set
Dumbbell row 30x8, 30x8, 35x8
Bench 65x8, 75x8, 80x8 - I may increase this one next week too
Calf raises 2x15
Swiss ball crunches 2x15
Leg lifts 3x10
To finish it off I did a little stretching and some of my favorite yoga poses

All before most people have dragged themselves out of bed.  Today there was one other female on the free weights section!  Amazing!  Usually I'm the only female.  The only things I saw her do were bench, dead lift and Smith machine squats (cringe).  When most women venture into the free weights area it is to pick up a 5lb dumbbell and proceed to do a million curls, kickbacks or chest presses pretending like that will actually do something. 

My lift schedule has been M-W-F and I swim on at least two off days and maybe a nice long walk one of those days, usually on Saturday.  So, I realized this week on Tuesday and Thursday when I didn't work out in the mornings that I felt like a zombie all day until I actually exercised.  I wait to swim after work so the Mister and I can do it together but I need to do something in the mornings.  I'm thinking about doing some yoga at home.  That's a nice relaxing way to get ready for the day.

Weight this morning was 180.6.  I swear my weight fluctuates more than the stock market.  I think when I started lifting heavy again my weight jumped up but my clothes starting fitting better which is more encouraging for me.  The number on the scale is just that, a number.  Do I want it to go down? Yes, of course and I know it will.  I weigh everyday because I like the daily reminder that I still am nowhere near where I want to be.  I track everything I eat because I have tried not tracking and I end up overeating.  So I usually eat about 1550-1650 calories per day and I don't account for my exercise.  If I genuinely feel like I didn't eat enough (not just a craving) I usually resort to some cottage cheese with cinnamon or a cinnamon brown rice cake with some PB.  I don't take the amounts too seriously because calories are just an estimate. 

I have this image saved on my phone to remind myself to just suck it up and deal with it when I need the motivation. 

Gym Rant

I know you're a middle-aged, obese woman and you are at least making the effort to go to the gym.  But, for the sake of my sanity please do not occupy an entire lane of a tiny ass 3 lane pool to bounce around on a noodle while I'm actually trying to swim.  Maybe you should actually try swimming and maybe you would be in better shape.

FUCK.

Taco Bell Promises "Healthy Food"

Read this.

In short, Taco Bell is promising to have three, THREE, "healthy" menu items by 2020. 

First of all, what the fuck is so complicated about creating a healthy meal that it's going to take SEVEN years?  I can create a healthy meal in about 15 minutes. But alas, I don't need to figure out just how many preservatives, artificial flavors and god knows what else to create my healthy meal.  Come on Taco Bell, get real.  You'll always be a haven for drunks and fatties, stop fooling yourselves. 

This shit makes me crazy.  A fast food restaurant meal could never ever be as healthy as a meal you could cook yourself.  And it makes me even more crazy when people actually believe this shit. 

What. The. Fuck.

Beast Mode

I used to loathe mornings.  I mean seriously, there are days where when my alarm went off, I would have rather slit my wrists in a warm bath then get out of my nice cozy bed.  Ok, maybe that's a bit dramatic but anybody who is not a morning person can totally relate.  About 3 weeks ago, I decided I needed to get my workout in before work.  My job is crazy and sometimes I have to work late and don't find out until I'm about to walk out the door.  So, I was slacking on my workouts because I didn't want to go to the gym so late at night.  I figured my best option for making sure I get it done was to go in the mornings.  The first week was definitely rough.  I had zero energy and I think a teenage girl could have pulled more than I did.  I kept pushing through it and told myself that it would get better and it did.  Imagine that?!

Now, if I don't work out in the morning, I feel lazy and draggy all day long.  I sleep better at night and I actually feel refreshed in the morning as opposed to borderline zombie like I used to feel. 

So, starting at 0615 this morning I did the following:

10 minutes of walking on the treadmill warm up

Deadlift: 8x95lbs, 8x115lbs, 8x135lbs
Military Press: 8x40lbs, 8x45lbs, 8x45lbs
Modified Pull-ups (I use the Smith machine and a bench, form a "V" with my body so it imitates the actual pull-up): 3 sets of 8 reps
Dumbell Rows: 8x30lbs, 8x30lbs, 8x35lbs
Bench Press: 8x65lbs, 8x75lbs, 8x80lbs
Calf Raises: 2 sets of 15 using a step (I'm too short to use the stand-up machine, of course, they're made for men)
Swiss Ball Crunches: 3 sets of 15
Leg Lifts: 3 sets of 10

Whew! 

Today was a light day at work, thankfully.  I spent most of the day researching FDA regulations and taking a couple walking breaks.  I know.  You're jealous.  It's OK to admit it.  I also read some blog posts by Norma and Allan.  They're both awesome. 

Dinner is boring tonight.  I made chicken and couscous for the Mister and I'll be having a giant plate of spinach with some sort of borderline spoiled veggies and the homemade egg salad I didn't eat for lunch. 

Stay classy.

InsertCleverTitleHere

I couldn't come up with a clever title so this post will not have one.  I figured I should give some info about myself. 

Well, I'm 27 and as I stand today, my BMI is 33.7.  I'm 5'3" and this morning I weighed 184lbs.  My highest was about 192lbs around the time I got married three years ago.  Perfect time of my life to be the FATTEST I HAD EVER BEEN.  Shit happens.  So, as one may have surmised, I have made several attempts to "lose weight and get in shape."  What usually would happen is I would get a wild hair up my ass and decide I need to start C25K and cut down to 1200 calories a day the very next day.  We all know this story...it didn't last long.  My longest attempt was 2011 when I joined Weight Watchers.  I was a point-countin' fool.  I managed to save my points at the end of the day for snacks all the time.  I bought the 8oz. cans of Coke because I thought they were better for me (I can hardly type that without feeling like a complete ass hat).  I lost about eleven pounds then just slowly drifted away.  One week off plan turned into infinity weeks off plan.  I realized later that I was only allowed to eat about 1150 calories a day and that was based off of my estimation to lose 1lb per week.  What an epic fucking fail.

On another note, the Mister and I have a 32 year age gap.  He is 59 years old and can out-swim and out-run me like there's no tomorrow.  He also used to bodybuild and still has quite the physique for a man his age.  He looks about 10-12 years younger than what he actually is.  This is the key point here...he started eating natural foods, or "clean," when he was about 17.  So, when we met, he converted me.  Being a scientist, I always tried not to eat food that seemed too artificial but at the same time, I didn't have much will power.  We do not eat anything with artificial flavors or colors, preservatives, hydrogenated oils (DEATH), HFCS nor any other of the 14,000+ FDA-approved food additives.  We are nutrition label Nazis. 

So, you're probably wondering why the fuck I am so fat.  Yea, good question.  In my quest to transition to natural foods, I began to bake and cook my junk food.  So, yes, my junk food was all natural and homemade but that didn't take away the fact that it was stuffed with calories.  My chocolate chip cookies are amazing and my co-workers are constantly asking me to make my homemade chocolate peanut butter cups.  I actually contemplated opening up my own bakery at one point because I was always making some type of decadent dessert.  Understand now?  This is why I'm fat.

I gave up coffee and caffeinated tea in 2009 but I continued to drink Coke.  I could not ever imagine giving up my precious Coke.  It should just be called liquid heroin because I was addicted.  I never drank more than a can or one 20oz bottle per day but those calories still add up.  I had my last Coke on January 1, 2013.  Do I still crave it?  Yes, but I've realized the only time I get strong cravings is when I am ravenously hungry.  The scientist in me says, "duh, it's fucking obvious you tool, you're hypoglycemic and of course your body wants the quick sugar high." 

We are in the process of lessening the amount of meat we consume.  The only animal proteins we eat are chicken or fish.  I'm way too picky about the type of fish so my main source is chicken.  I've been subbing with tofu but I'm trying to get away from eating so much of that too.  So, we eat a lot of beans and quinoa right now.  We didn't decide this for ethical reasons but rather for health reasons.  I know there are a lot of people that would think I'm nuts or I'm "wrong" but it's my fucking choice and I can't stand it when I tell people.  They always say, "how can you not eat red meat?"  Um, I just don't put it in my mouth?  WTF?  I don't make smartass remarks at people who eat paleo style or any other style.  I could give a shit what somebody else's diet choices are as long as they're not eating McDonald's or any kind of shit like that.  If you do that, I will make fun of you because you're stupid and it's not real food.  It's 75% artificial and that may be a stretch. 

This is really long and I doubt anybody will make it this far.  My goal for the end of 2013 is to be able to do one unassisted pull-up.  That's it.  I didn't set a goal to lose X amount of weight or fit into a size X.  I want to be strong and healthy.  Will I have to lose weight to do a pull-up?  Yes, of course I will but I didn't want that to be my focus because then I get too caught up in the numbers and I make myself crazy.  So, I lift weights 3 times per week and swim or take a long walk 2-3 times per week.  I try to make swimming a priority though because swimming is a killer workout.  Thanks to my elevated testosterone levels, I have always been able to build up muscle very quickly and my body type could be described as "dense" or "thick."  After only about 3 weeks of lifting weights, I noticed my shoulders getting more broad and my quads popping out, even under the fat.  So, the amount of weight I'm able to lift for certain exercises is more than the average woman (at least to my knowledge).  I'm sure there are females out there that are using my maximum as a warm-up.  I do not compare myself to others because that is another surefire way to fail. 

Anyway, I should wrap this up because it's really fucking long and I need to go to bed soon.  My 5:30 alarm will come quicker than I think (like always). 

Vacation in Chernobyl

I think that phrase pretty much sums up my day at work this far. 

I work in a lab that does some very unique work.  There is always something new to learn and that is what I like most about it. 

Today I have had the usual green smoothie for breakfast, homemade egg salad sandwich, cottage cheese and an orange for lunch.  And as always about half a liter of water so far today.

I was scheduled to swim today after work but that may not happen because I may be working until God knows when. 

I'm healthy and alive today. That's what matters most.

Cripes

I just had a damn novel-length post about random stuff regarding my lifestyle and stupid blogger app decided to fail and I lost it all.  Thanks android, a lot. 

Thumbdownfartnoise

I'll post about it tomorrow and I apologize for leaving my fans on the edges of their seats.

Here's my dinner from tonight though.  Whole wheat penned tossed with spinach, canellini  beans, spinach, marinara and a bit of Parmesan.  Get in mah belleh!

Don't Tase Me Bro!

Well, well, well...my virgin post. 

I'm hoping this blog will be about my life (kind of), work, and my odyssey towards fitness and a healthy lifestyle.  I decided against a "imfatandthisismyblog" title because I want it to be more than that.  Yes, I am fat and yes, this is my blog but I don't plan on droning on and on and on about food, fatness, why I'm fat, the excuses why I am still fat, blaming my fucked up hormones, well..you get the idea.

I'm a scientist by day and a fucking badass the rest of the time.  If you don't love science, then FUCK YOU, LEAVE.  I like to use dirty words, especially when it comes to talking about my job.  As much as I love the actual work (sometimes), my boss and the dumbass shit he does every day may result in my spontaneous combustion.  This is why I exercise and why I bake and cook, which is why I'm fat a work in progress. 

I think I just popped my blog cherry (gross, I know, I'm sorry).